The Catholic Wife

Titus 2 - A Gem!

by Rachel Hayden

Recently, I have found myself reflecting quite a lot on Titus 2:3-5:

Likewise, tell the older women to be reverent in behavior, not to be slanderers or slaves to drink; they are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, love their children, to be self-controlled, chaste, good managers of the household, kind, being submissive to their husbands, so that the word of God may not be discredited.

In this one little section of the Holy Bible, Saint Paul has laid out how we, as Christians, are to carry ourselves. This is a true gem for a Catholic woman! Love my husband – done! Love my kids – don’t have any yet but I intend to love them! Be self-controlled – easy as pie….well, most of the time! Chaste – no problem! Good manager of the household – uhhhh……not-so-done. Kind – usually! Submissive to my husband – oh no…. As we can see, the instructions may be simple but that does not mean they’re easy.

Let’s start with being self-controlled. For the most part, I have no problem with this. But sometimes, I catch myself saying something I shouldn’t out of frustration or anger. I immediately feel bad but by then, it’s too late. One it happens, I find myself praying for forgiveness or direction. I must learn to “turn the other cheek” and realize that nothing is gained by harsh words.

Then there’s the whole “good managers of the household” thing. I fail at this – miserably! Now, I have gotten better, I will admit. When we lived in an apartment, I didn’t care if the place was a wreck. It didn’t phase me! But then we moved into a house and instantly, I noticed dirt. And I had to eradicate that dirt! But the longer we live in the house, the less I notice it now. Perhaps it is because I am so busy with life. Or perhaps I’m just lazy. Whatever the reason, this is the area I must truly work on and one where I feel that I need the most improvement.

Being submissive to my husband – this is also a touchy subject. I want to be submissive – I want him to make the decisions. Really, I do! However, I usually commit us to events or make plans without asking him and then I get mad because he gets mad. Yet we agreed to make all decisions together after careful discussion and prayer and then, there I go again, committing and making plans without asking him. I believe that there is a touch of my singleness that hasn’t gone away. I was used to doing things on my own, without having to clear it with anyone. I went wherever and with whomever and never gave it a second thought. A major part of the problem can also be blamed on so-called “women’s liberation.” This movement meant that women were to no longer “answer to a man” or “let a man make decisions” when it comes to matters of marriage and family life. The very idea is unbiblical and damaging to the foundation of the home. No, I’m not a stay-at-home wife. Yes, I am out in the workforce every day and so I suppose I am “liberated” to a point, if you want to look at it from a Fundamentalist-Protestant-1611-KJV perspective (but we’re not looking at it from that perspective, thankfully. However, that is the perspective that will more-than-likely be found if searching this subject on the internet.) But at the end of the day, I rejoice in the fact that I have a man to go home to and take care of. I relish in his reaction when I cook a meal that he enjoys or when I surprise him with a gift. I simply have to learn to stop and pause when we receive invitations or when I want to make plans. Engaging in a discussion and coming to a satisfactory decision together, or even conceding to him at times when we disagree, brings harmony and peace to the home. And I need to learn to not always get my way…..

Saint Paul’s letter to Titus is a very short read and is filled with wonderful teachings. And it truly helps us, as Catholic Christian women, to reflect on how to act in the 21st century. There are so many influences and people (Oprah, anyone?) in the world today, all telling us how we should think, look, and feel, that it is a huge relief knowing that we can open up the Holy Bible and find the truth about our glorious vocation as wives and mothers. And while we are not perfect, Titus 2 lays out how we can more easily become the best possible Christian women we can be. And living our lives in accordance with God’s word means that it is a lot easier to sleep at night! For that, I say “thanks be to God!”