The Catholic Wife - Recent Articles

Preparing Our Souls for Lent (January 26, 2008)

by Rachel Hayden

We are less than two weeks away from the start of the Lenten season, a time I greatly anticipate. Lent leads to Holy Week - the busiest time of the liturgical year. And it is capped off by the most beautiful of Masses, the Easter Vigil. I cannot wait to sit in the pew and watch friends be baptized, confirmed, and receive first communion like I did not too long ago. One of the things that drew me to Catholicism was the solemnity and deep reverence for Jesus that is so apparent in the faith. This deep respect and love is never more evident than it is during Lent, when we again walk with Jesus and reflect on His arrival in Jerusalem, His betrayal, His institution of the Eucharist, His Passion, and His resurrection. From Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday, we unite ourselves with the very real steps of Jesus as He embarked on the greatest of sacrifices. It is my prayer that we all stop and truly reflect on the life, death, and glorious resurrection of Jesus during this time. It is He who provides all sustenance for our lives and is the supreme reason we all have reason to hope.

Clean the House? HAHAHAHA! (January 24, 2008)

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by Rachel Hayden

I dream of the day when I can say I’m the perfect wife. My house will be clean, dinner will be perfect, and my hair won’t be frizzy. However, that will continue to be a lifelong dream because I have a problem: I hate housework. I detest it! When I was single and lived on my own, my apartment was frightening. I’d have stacks of stuff everywhere and it didn’t bother me. I’ll never forget the time I arrived home to my small apartment after school and found my sister there, having let herself in with her key, washing my dishes because they were all over the kitchen and she was afraid I’d be overtaken by rats. I struggle with finding the time to clean. When I get home from work, I normally have to fix dinner. Then, I either have to do homework or sew, depending on the evening. Before I know it, it’s time to get ready to turn in and start the day all over again. Weekends are my only chance to clean yet it seems like we spend our entire weekend zooming from point A to point Q and back to point C with no break in between. All the sudden, its bedtime on Sunday night again and there is now enough dog fur on the carpet and couch to gather up and knit into a fashionable sweater. I’m pulling clean uniforms out of the dryer on Monday morning to wear to work because I never got a chance to put away laundry over the weekend. In fact, the computer desk where I sit writing this is piled 2.5 feet high with schoolbooks, unprocessed mail, fabric, sewing scraps, an iPod charger, my Bible, a clean pair of socks (not sure why those are there), and an empty cup. Squeezed in the middle of all this junk is my laptop and mouse. This is a six-foot table holding 18 cubic feet of STUFF.

And let me just interject that my husband does help around the house. He’s not one of those men that believes that I, as the wife, must do everything around the house. There are tasks, however, that I would prefer he leave to me (vacuuming, cooking, and putting away dishes to name a few.) Yet even with his help, our house gets messy again very quickly. I do not understand how two people and a dog can junk up a 1000 sq ft home as fast as we do.

Anyway, I decided to make a cleaning schedule. My mother tells me that if I clean a little bit each day, I should be able to keep it that way. I want to believe her because she doesn’t lie….but do I have a “little bit” of time each day? So I now have a “Daily Agenda” book and I’m writing all of my cleaning tasks in it for the upcoming week. Then I plan to get home from work, fix dinner, popmy little agenda book and begin checking things off my list. I am envisioning a day where I will have a neat home every single day and will be able to keep it that way. All this is dependent, of course, on my keeping the Daily Agenda book away from this computer desk. If I set it down here, it will be swallowed up like a rat by an anaconda and next Monday, I’ll be digging uniform pants out of the dryer at 5:30am, wondering what happened to my brilliant plan. Lord, give me the ability to stick to a schedule!

Walking the Walk (January 20, 2008)

by Rachel Hayden

I try to live my life each and every day with my heart toward Heaven. Prayers, thoughts about Jesus, and contemplations about the faith permeate my mind throughout the day. Part of living life as a Catholic woman is doing that very thing – living life AS a Catholic woman, not as a woman who happens to go to a Catholic Mass on Sundays instead of over at the non-denominational church. However, many of us often hide our faith from the world. The argument is often as follows: “It is easier to just not talk about it than to explain why Catholics fill in the blank here.” Catholicism is beautifully complex and because of that, many non-Catholic Christians, as well as many practicing Catholics, do not understand it. The Mass, Eucharist, Sacred Tradition, the sign of the cross, the Pope, the Saints, honoring Mary, Holy Days, Ash Wednesday – these are just some of the things that are uniquely Catholic. Our faith is so very rich! To be immersed in the faith is to be immersed in the very heart of Jesus Christ. But so often, people go to Mass on Sunday and then don’t think about their faith lives again until next Sunday. It’s not a surprise that secularism, abortion, racism, pornography, and the other evils of today’s world seep into our homes and poisons our minds.

I challenge all Catholic women to do one “Catholic” thing a day – pray the rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet, pray the Liturgy of the Hours, spend an hour in Eucharistic adoration, pray the litany of the saints, read a Catholic apologetics book, listen to a Catholic podcast, put a holy water font by your door and bless yourself as you come and go – whatever! By doing this, we remind ourselves that Jesus is the center of our lives and is within us always. This very real presence of Jesus in our daily lives helps to grow our faith in amazing ways. Being a Catholic woman in the 21st century is about more than attending Mass or helping out at fish fries. It is about being a faithful sister in Christ, daughter of God, and wife of man. We must equip ourselves with knowledge when well-meaning but misguided people question us on our beliefs. And what better way to prepare than to “walk the walk?” The more we immerse ourselves in the faith, the more we understand it and appreciate the true beauty of it. And while we are still surrounded by the indulgent trappings of 21st century living, our faith can become a shield. Christ is the most precious gift – why do we so often deny the light and let the darkness in? After all, Psalm 21:1 says “The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” The Lord wants to bless us richly if we only ask and more importantly, listen to what He is saying. He left us a faith on Earth that is plentiful and exquisite – why not allow it to be part of your daily life? Be proud to call yourselves a Catholic, my dear sisters in Christ. You should not be afraid and you should not be ashamed.

Next Stop: Faithville (January 13, 2008)

by Rachel Hayden

I find myself at a career crossroads. I have been in the same profession for approximately seven years. I wish I could say that I have enjoyed those years but that would be lying. I will admit, however, the field I am is ever-changing and allows for tons of opportunity for growth. I have discovered, and am realizing more each day, that the growth it offers is not the growth I am seeking.

And so here I am at these crossroads - this intersection of life. The path straight ahead leads to Nowville and means that I continue what I’m doing because it pays the bills and keeps me busy but unhappy. The path to the left takes me to Changeville, where a career in the same field but in a different atmosphere awaits me. The path to the right is completely unfamiliar and ends up in a place called Faithville. I can’t even see what’s down that path so I am unable to imagine what I might encounter. However, the road to Faithville seems to have a brightness and lightness about it that the other paths don’t have. I almost feel pulled towards that path because of the surprises that lie ahead. A trip to Faithville will require risk, no doubt. I don’t know what I will run into so I certainly don’t know how to pack for the journey. Will I need armor for a battle? Will I need a sword to fight off wild animals? Will I have to pack food or will it be abundant along the path? As I think about these things, I cannot help but think about what Jesus said to the apostles before they went out into the world to cast out demons and cure the sick. “Take nothing for your journey, no staff, nor bag, nor bred nor money – not even an extra tunic.” (Luke 9:3 NRSV) Jesus was instructing his apostles to walk by faith. Their faith in Him meant that they would be provided for, regardless of what they may encounter. They had no idea what they were headed for but God knew….

And so I will begin my walk towards Faithville. The Word says that He will provide and I believe. It’s an unsettling thought, though, to begin on a journey and not know what I’m looking for. But, as Mother M. Angelica says, “Well, believing in God takes faith, and faith, for me, is like having one foot in the air, one foot on the ground, and a very queasy feeling in my stomach.” I believe that God will lead me to the purpose and calling for which I was created for. He’s been speaking to my heart for a long time and I think I have just recently started to listen. So as the week begins anew, I intend to relocate my desk from Nowville to Faithville. I may still be functioning in Nowville but my head and heart are listening intently for the guidance that comes only from Faithville. And when I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit to act, it will be with a queasy feeling in my stomach and a prayer on my heart.

Feel Like Judging? Pray Instead! (January 8, 2008)

by Rachel Hayden

Matthew 7:1-2
Luke 6:37
Romans 2:1
Romans 14:10
James 4:12
James 5:9

The passages of Holy Scripture above all reference warnings to not judge other people. Yet we, even as Christians aware of Jesus’ teachings, judge with every breath we take. We grumble over what so-and-so wore to the grocery store, the mall, or even to Mass. We look upon the unmarried mother with disdain as she talks about the fathers of her children. We judge our sisters in Christ for not cutting their hair, wearing skirts, not wearing skirts, wearing head coverings, not wearing head coverings, wearing too much makeup, not caring what she looks like, etc. Our very human nature seems to be the uncontrolled urge to make snap judgments upon everyone we come into contact with. I am just as guilty as everyone else. But I have decided, after studying the words of Jesus and placing them on my heart, that it is time to stop! Being charitable instead of hateful can have a profound effect on our very mental psyche. When our heads are filled with positive thoughts instead of negative ones, our outward demeanor changes. If instead of instantly deciding this person is a sinner/tramp/fool, we take a step back and analyze that person’s place in life and circumstances, the urge to judge will be lessened. If all else fails and you feel the need to judge, pray instead. Ask God to grace you with kindness and love. The urge to judge will pass and your prayer life will increase!