The Catholic Wife

Let's Talk About Modesty

by Rachel Hayden

I have recently realized that as my age increases, my hemline lengthens. It has not been intentional – it has just happened. However, there is a direct correlation between my age and my faith, meaning that the older I get, the more I rely on God and hunger for Him. The older I become, the more I find myself discerning my mannerisms, speech, clothing, and lifestyle to see if they are pleasing to God. Of late, I have become very concerned about modesty of dress and what clothing today teaches young women about morality. Before I go into my thoughts, I want to reflect on what the Bible (Douay-Rheims translation) says about modesty:

Galatians 5: 22 - 23
But the fruit of the Spirit is, charity, joy, peace, patience, benignity, goodness, longanimity, mildness, faith, modesty, continency, chastity. Against such there is no law.

Romans 12:1-2
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercy of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, pleasing unto God, your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world; but be reformed in the newness of your mind, that you may prove what is the good, and the acceptable, and the perfect will of God.

1 Timothy 2: 9-10
In like manner women also in decent apparel: adorning themselves with modesty and sobriety, not with plaited hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly attire, but as it becometh women professing godliness, with good works.
(Source: www.drbo.org)

And for further detail, let’s look at what the Magisterium says through the Catechism of the Catholic Church:

2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one's choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

2523 There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.
(Source: http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc.htm)

So I would say that the Word of the Lord and the guiding of the Holy Spirit are pretty clear about what modesty is….but what is modesty NOT? I see examples of immodesty each and every single day wherever I go. And most disturbing, I see it quite frequently on Sundays at Mass. Women come dressed in halter tops and short skirts, spaghetti-strap dresses with no bras, etc. Not only is this improper, it is downright disrespectful. Now I know that many will use the argument that “at least I’m at Church. God doesn’t care how I dress!” But as we can see above, God very much cares about how we dress and how we present ourselves. And as Catholic Christians, we believe that Jesus Christ is present – body, blood, soul, and divinity – in the Eucharist. So the question is very simple: If you’re going to meet Jesus today, how should you dress? I am sure that any one of us would dress quite nicely if we were having lunch with the President of the United States, right? Does Jesus not garner the same, or even more, respect?

Often, our clothing outside reflects the type of person we are inside. I can only say this because I am speaking from experience. Many years ago, I was lost. I was promiscuous and irresponsible. And while I was acting this way, I was also dressing in a manner reflective of those actions - super-short skirts, low and plunging necklines, etc. There was really nothing I would not reveal about myself. And while all this was going on, I was dying inside. I had no direction, nothing driving me to improve myself. My soul felt empty. No, scratch that – I actually felt soulless. My only goal was to attract men and I reflected that through my apparel and makeup at all times.

Now I am not suggesting that, in order to be modestly clothed, we have to dress frumpily. And I am certainly not suggesting that we all show up to Mass in floor-length mumus like our grandmothers used to wear. I am merely suggesting that we all take stock of our wardrobe and decide what is modest, what is borderline, and what is downright revealing. When I did this, I ended up sacrificing many of my old blue jeans, which were rather tight in the thigh area, to my country folk art business because I needed blue jean material. I tossed all my short skirts out the door. The shirts that had plunging necklines were either altered to reduce the “V”, paired with a camisole that would cover me, or completely disposed of. I have replaced those items with long skirts (denim and other fabrics), flattering but modest tops, or slacks that are suitable and not tight. I simply feel better about myself dresses like this. And surprisingly, I feel more feminine in a long denim skirt than I ever did in a short one!

Below are some tips I have developed for myself that may help out other women who are discerning their clothing:
·  Buy a camisole or two if you don’t already have one. They really can turn an immodest shirt into a wearable piece of attire.
·   Denim skirts can be very cute and flattering – and they’re always popular. I find my best skirts at Cato or in catalogs such as Seventh Avenue.
·  Go to thrift stores! I can’t count how many skirts I have purchased for only a few dollars that have become some of my favorite items to wear.
·   Get your husband’s opinion. My husband is always honest with me about what I wear. He has said, more than once, “You’re leaving the house in that?” Men tend to be brutally honest – don’t get hurt by it but use it to help you change your wardrobe.

Modesty is of the utmost importance. In today’s secular society, it’s so important that we shine the light of Christ wherever we go. We must also realize that we influence the world around us. As young women and girls may look upon us for advice and inspiration, we must be sure that we reflect our love of Christ and His Church in every aspect of our lives. And as we begin discerning our clothing, we inevitably begin discerning other parts of our lives. All this, in time, will purge our homes of the grunge and dirt of society and make them holy places of comfort and peace.